Shhhhhhhhh I have a secret

Everyday at 11 am my littles proclaim their immense hunger.

"We are soooooooo hungry we are going to diiiiieeeee."
"I guess that means I must feed you again?"
"YYYYEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS and hurrrrryyyyyy we are starving to deeeeaaatttthh"

So I go through my fridge and pantry trying to mix up what I put into these walking pits of hunger. But today was a tough day. I haven't been grocery shopping in a week and a half so the pickins were SLIM. Think like, no milk or bread slim. You may be thinking thats not too bad. But you are an adult. A nice salad, bowl or rice, various fruits or veggies would definitely please your palate. But we are talking about a 4, 6, 7 and almost 9 year old who only eat foods that are 2 chemical steps away from powering industrial machines. So what can I feed them!?!?

I started to rummage and decided on these choices: salad (lol, at least I tried and that one was shot down IMMEDIATELY), scrambled eggs, soup, chicken nuggest or hot dogs.

"HOT DOGS!! You are actually going to let us eat HOT DOGS!!!!"
"yeah...but no buns and only 1 each!"

Hot dogs are never on my short list of things to make for lunch. I just try not to give them hot dogs more than once a month. So when they heard hot dogs they were STOKED!!! COOL....they are actually excited about lunch!! Hip hip horray!!! So final decision was hot dogs, carrots and oranges. Not a bad lunch for the littles. I get them set up and decide that I may have to eat also. What to do for myself?? I definitely didn't want a cut up hot dog and ketchup for lunch so I go foraging in my pantry once more.

I was pushing some cans of tomato around and I found one of my guiltiest pleasures hidden deep inside my pantry. I pulled it out and actually felt my mouth start to super salivate. I knew right then and there what my lunch that day was going to be.

Its rather quite embarassing really. Shah, I don't even know if I should put it down here for all to see. Well, here it goes. I LOVE Pork~n~Beans. Oh, not just any brand....Van De Camps version of pork n beans. Those mushy, sweet, what the heck is that white thing in them pork n beans. I love them!!! I stared lovingly at that red can - my guiltiest little pleasure. Should I get some potato chips and sprinkle them with pork-n-beans and then drizzle with mustard? Or should I go the old fashioned route that I did while preggo with little #4? Just pop open the can and insert spoon? Hmmmmm what to do? I was feeling a bit nostalgic today and almost just popped the can. But I decided to go the pork-n-bean nacho route. Yummmmmm the bliss I was in this afternoon.

Now, my stomach lining hurts...........but I had me some good pork-n-beans. Shhhhhhhhhhh.....don't tell!!!

Its a messy messy life.

I love watching family shows of the 50's, 60's and 70's. Leave It to Beaver, I Love Lucy, The Brady Bunch. Such a slow, simple, CLEAN life, wasn't it? I mean....watch any Brady Bunch and do you EVER see dishes piled in the sink? Toys scattered accross the den? Or heck...even in that overflowing washing machine episode.....did you see one piece of clothing sitting in that laundry room? They had 6 kids for crying out loud and never anything in disarray. Those shows gave me false hope of what my life and home were to be. Did I ever picture myself in a dress, heals, and pearls welcoming my husband home? AHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh................no.
BUT I did imagine my life to be cleaner.

Clean -- that is such a simple word. I like the way it rolls off my tongue.........

Cleeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnn.

My biggest fantasy is a house that is ahhhhh....how do you say it. Cleeeeeeeaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnn.

I get shivers just thinking about it. Not that I am saying we are slobs. I just mean -- well, how can I say this nicely about my home. Its cluttered in a very disorderly fashion. We do mop the floors once a week and vaccuum and do dishes and sweep and, and, and, and. But our home never looks like it belongs on tv. Heck, half the time my home isn't even PRESENTABLE to people I kinda know. I have told ~A~ on many a time that I hope none of my kids were in a serious accident that day because as soon as emergency services (911) came to my home, they would need to put a call into CPS (or child protective services for those of you non breeders) to have my children taken away because of unfit living conditions.

cllllllleeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnn

I should have had an inkling as to what my home was to look like from my childhood. My mom stayed at home with us...but I don't remember our house being messy. (thank goodness my mother doesn't read this because I am SURE she would have a few choice words to say about this) I don't recall my brother, sister and I being NEAT freaks....but I dont' recall us being slobs either. I just remember our house feeling comfortable and "lived in". (I know ~A~ is shuddering hearing those words....."lived in") Isn't that just a nice way to say....hey, your house is trashed and apparently you really don't care about it. But nonetheless, I THOUGHT we were clllleeeeeaaaaaaannnnnn.

Why wasn't I told about the messes that kids could potentially make? I knew they, themselves, were messy. For crying out loud......they drool, leak, spew all sorts of liquids their first couple of years. But why do they feel the NEED to CREATE messes?

MESSY

See...that word just sticks in your mouth like too thick peanut butter. Oh and did you know how much of a mess peanut butter can make?!?!? How it leaves horrific greasy stains on clothes, carpets and walls? It does. I speak from experience. A very long and MESSY experience.

I could go on and on about the messes that have occurred in my home. And I am sure several of the bigger messes in my life will make it here to these pages. But until then I can only sit here and think

cllllleeeeeaaaaaan.

whisper it with me........

cllllllleeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnn

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh........................yes

clllleeeeaaaaan