Walk Tall Men.......Walk Tall.........
I was purusing Evilbay this evening and ran accross something that struck me as funny. Before I show it to you, I want to know something from you guys.
WHY OH WHY does everything have to revolve around SIZE?!?!?
The size of your hands - Wow...it sure is impressive how you can palm that bowling ball.
The size of your feet - Dude, that size 15 does not necessarily correlate to whats hiding in the pants.
The size of you weenus - Do I EVEN have to go there? Do I?!?!
And your heights - I love how guys always round up an inch.......ahem or even two when they state how tall they are.
Whyis it?!?!? Why do you feel like its a constant competition to be that 1" bigger in all the above categories?!?!?! WHO CARES. I just don't get it. SOMEONE PLEASE explain it to me. And I don't want to hear this alpha male bigger, better, gets the women. There should have been SOME kind of evolution in the last hundred years or so. PUHLESE
OK....back to what I saw.....here is the listing: TALLSHOES
Did you see it......are men actually BUYING these?!?! I about bust a gut when I saw them.
Now I realize some of you may think these ROCK. But let me try to explain why these are so funny to me. I am a tall woman. No, I am not 5'11" tall......I am like 6'4" tall. And I can't TELL you how many times I have walked into a room and immediately see all the men inside stare and straighten themselves up. Its like an automatic string being pulled on their spine. No, its like boot camp and all the enlisteds standing at attention when the Commanding officer walks by. Its quite the amazing spectacle. Truly it is. No more slouched shoulders, no more casual standing....its the let me stand at full height and even up on my toes just a tad. WHY....WHY!?!?
I realize I will never know why (although I think I do) but stop. Don't do that....and don't try to walk slowly by trying to see who is the taller of the two. DON'T!!!
Back to the shoes....did you see the logo that also went with them?!?! Now you can be Taller than her! That is what struck me as the funny part. Taller than her. Now I know several tall women....and a couple do date guys who are shorter etc. But they don't care. And I think most women DON'T CARE. What happens when you get home with that taller girl and you take off the shoes?!?! ROFL...that reminds me of that Seinfeld episode where George wore those timberlines. bwhahahaha....good episode - but I digress. ahem. Its FALSE ADVERTISING!!!! False advertising I say!!! Let me put this in terms that you may understand. Its like an ultra padded bra or falsies. No matter how much you like the person...its a tad disappointing when you see the true goods. Yeah, the boobies are there....but how fun are they really when you were expecting a full C and end up with a full A. Think about it.
MENS Shoes that are actually purposefully advertised for their lift. Bad Idea.....BAD idea. I don't care how short you are. Just don't do it!!!
**oh and I apologize to all of those vertically challenged men who may be reading this. I hope that you benefit from it and that you enjoy your new 2.75". Rock on and snag you a tall woman!
posted by *T* at 7:22 PM
5 Comments:
*ROFLMAO* What's funny is that My Honey is an inch shorter than me, but it's something I've never noticed. Probably because it doesn't bother him.
You need to quit your job so you can spend more time online.
Miss you. XOXOXOXOXOXOXO
When I showed my lovah the add (and yes, he is about an inch and a half shorter than me) he just rolled his eyes. I teased him that I was getting him those for xmas and he could loose the puffy hair! LOLOLOL
But seriously, like you ~A~ we don't notice the height....and it certainly doesn't bother my lovah either.
I miss you also!!!!
XOXOXOXOXOX back at ya!
There was a study referenced once on . . .oh, I don't know, some TV news magazine show (so it MUST be true!) that showed that being short was disproportionately problematic in the dating market, so maybe you just care less about height than most (don't feel bad--I'm clearly less interested than most men in Jessica Simpson).
I add 1/2" to my height on my resume (I round up from 5'10 1/2" to 5'11"), but not in conversation; rounding up on the resume is sort of standard procedure for actors, since they're casting ideas of people more than people, and that half inch nearly puts me in another category. That said, my wife still stands about an inch taller than I do when both of us stand with good posture.
The weight on my resume is just plain wishful thinking (though, as in many things in my life, I'm a gender anomaly: I definitely round down). :^)
Men ultimately worry about not being big enough for the same reason women worry about not being skinny enough: we're told that it's what they--the people who are supposed to find us desirable in order for life to be any fun--want.
I concur that height is a factor in the dating scene. Many women out there want to date men at least 3-4 inches taller than they are (as they want to to be able to wear heels and not be taller than their man). As for the obsession with size and height, the concept is basically bigger = more powerful and more powerful = more sexy. So, yeah, it comes down to the "bigger, better, gets the women" shiite muslim that you don't want to hear.
And that obsession is totally freaking ridiculous.
What trumps all that shit is confidence. If you're happy with who you are and secure in your stature, height won't matter in the least. Last year I dated a girl who was 6'1". At no time was that an issue as I like my height (a scoche under 5'11"). So I was shorter. No bigs. I made up the extra two inches in awesomeness.
Seriously, it wasn't an issue because I didn't make it an issue. Any man who straps on a pair of those stilts, however, is making his height an issue. Those shoes are a band-aid that does nothing for the true issue at hand: insecurity. While wearing those shoes, he may be 2-3 inches taller thus feeling 2-3 inches better about himself, but he remains an insecure man. An insecure man who now realizes that he needs to dust on top of his fridge.
K, I'm with the menfolk on this one. To me, as a tallish female, height is an issue. I'm not saying that I shun men because they are no tall enough. I'm just not particularly attracted to the truly height impaired. I know this guy that is probably 5'7", he's cute, he's funny, we're great friends, and I WISH that I found myself attracted to him. I've tried, it's just not there. What is it about this great guy that I find unappealing? His height vs. my height. However, if one day we walked up 3" taller because of his new "Tallshoes" I still wouldn't be attracted to him because like you say it's false advertising. I like 'em tallish, but I like 'em honest too.
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