But we wanted to play in snow mom

My children are deprived. Yes, MY children. Children of the 21st century who don't have to milk cows, fetch water, handwrite letters, work the garden, study by candlelight, or heck...even have to get up to change the TV channel. My chldren are deprived. And do you know how I came to this conclusion? Packaging Peanuts. Yes, those foamy, static-ey (ok not a real word...but a real word to a person who speaks with children all day), annoying, packing peanuts. Man how I hate packing peanuts. Whenever xmas hits I cringe when I get boxes at my door. I usually unpack the packages outside and immediately, without the children knowing, discard the boxes with those annoying fluffy squeaky items. Why? Because I live in Arizona. Now that may not make sense to you.........but in reality it does. Please bear with me.

I have 4 children. I know I am not the first nor will I be the last to have 4 children. But I have 4 - all born within 5 years. ~A~ and I did it right. Just be preggo like elephants and get all those suckers done with FAST. But the problem with that is.....when one gets a bright idea...you don't have an older, wiser, sibling saying...you know.....thats not a really good idea. You have....WOW, that might work and that would be awesome!!! They actually have BRAINSTORMING sessions on how to pull these wild ideas off. And mind you, these are 8 1/2, 7, 6, and 4 year old ideas trying to come to fruitition. So basically ANYTHING goes.

Hey, lets give ourselves mustaches with permanent markers.....OK!!! What about wrapping ourselves in aluminum foil!! COOL!! What about writing our names and the ALPHABET, oh oh oh and NUMBERS on every single wall of the house!! Brillant!!! (and yes, all of these things have happened - like I said....anything goes)

So back to my deprived little dears.

This past xmas I lost my mind. I actually accepted a HUGE box (like a large sized moving box) from the UPS man and brought it inside. Why I didn't do my unpack outside and dump the box routine is a mystery to me. I must have been hypnotized or high on the christmas season. Thats the only explanation for my momentary lapse in sanity. For the event that is to happen was not the first time something like this had taken place in my house. You would think I would have known better. But I didn't and what was to occur was the largest and grandest by far.

So I accept this massive box into a clean house that I had worked my butt off (like a week) to achieve. I had even vaccumed that morning. Which, let me tell you, is a feat in itself. It was a beautiful blank slate that was DYING to be transformed.

Into what, praytell?

A winterwonderland of course.

Because you see, we live in Arizona, and guess what doesn't happen here during Christmas time?

Can you see where this is going?

Of course you can.

But let me try to impress apon, or upon which ever floats your boat, the magnitude of this disaster. It was a very big box. (way bigger than what was necessary for the 4 little presents inside - if I must say so myself) And I had very curious children who were DYING for the chance to sneak a peek at presents. So they opened the box (who knows where I was for crying out loud) and instead of seeing easily accessible presents, they were greeted by the fluffy, beautiful, alluring packaging peanuts.

I imagine it was like opening a buried treasure chest. They flapped open the box, music started playing, and their faces were lit with the bounty hidden inside.

Oh what to do with these curious little pieces of foam? I can only imagine the looks of deep concentration on my little lovies cherubesque faces. Then the dawning of the greatest idea they have ever had in their very young lives.

SNOW

Why, lets make it snow.....YES SNOW. We have been asking mom for snow all winter. Stoopid Arizona where it doesn't even get cold enough to snow. Hey, we can actually make it ourselves. LOOK!! Grab a handful and throw it. Ok - hey...that looks pretty cool. But it looks too big. Lets grab every single one and mash it, YES, YES MASH THEM!!! Into 20 smaller peices.......YES YES YES...that makes them multiply. It gives us more SNOW!! Why not....its fun. Its SNOWING!!! Lets throw them in the air.....WHOA...IT ACTUALLY LOOKS LIKE ITS SNOWING WHEN WE DO THAT! Do that some more.... YES!! YES!! YES!!! Wait, we only have half the room covered. We need to break these suckers up some more. OHHHH now we are cooking!!! Snow, snow, snow, snow. WE LOVE SNOW!!!!

How did I stumble onto such a scene you ask? Well, I really can't tell you. I have read that when a very traumatic event happens in your life you can forget it or black it out. I must have done that because all I remember was the singing of christmas carols and thinking, HOW SWEET, let me go peek at my lovies singing. After that, everything is a blur. I was told, by my oldest, that I was VERY VERY VERY VERY angry and that my eyes rolled into the back of my head. I have flashes of the scene, of course. Micro-sized peanuts EVERYWHERE......covering the ENTIRE floor of my 37 x 15 living/dining room combo turned into massive sized playroom for the deprived children. Oh, did you know when you pulverize packaging peanuts they create this super static? They do. They were stuck to the walls and my ceiling fans. YES CEILING FANS....which is a feat in itself considering we have 10 ft ceilings in my house. I can't even FATHOM that. And they travel and stick onto every single surface/crevice/toy/corner/drawer/cabinet/couch/cushion/etc, etc etc available? Oh yes, I even found them in their ears and other nooks and crannies at bathtime. They go eeevvvveeerrryyywwwhheerrreeeeeeeeee.

Oh and they are vitrually unvaccumable. You can NOT get those suckers up. You have to HAND pick them up. Yes, HAND. Which, for children of the 21st century, is the most unimaginable punishement possible. And during the cleaning up of the snow....with their bags and "bleeding fingers" (I guess I was working them to the bone) they all were proclaiming. "BUT WE WANTED TO PLAY IN SNOW MOM. We NEVER get to see snow."

So you see, my children are deprived. These poor children who have never seen snow, who tried to make it themselves, who only cleaned about half the mess before they were all too weak to move, are deprived. Can I tell you, that it took me 3 months to be rid of every piece of "snow" in my home. Oh yes. THREE MONTHS.

So you see, the peanuts gave me the revelation of the depravity of my children. So feel sorry for them. Feel sorry. For you know I do! *BAH!!!*