And she rose from the depths of packaging peanuts & nesquik

A lost post from 2 years ago

2008-08-31T20:06:00.000-07:00

I wrote this over 2 years ago and never posted it. It was just one of those where I started with a thought and never felt I completed it. Wait....I just realized the date, and it was in the year from hades. That's why it never got posted. OOPPS!!! Anyways, here it is and I hope you like it..........

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I ADORE my children. Really I do. I think they are the most beautiful creatures alive. Every single day, no matter how bad it might have been, I stop, look at them, and think.....I adore these kids. I could not live without them. (although some days I wish I could get rid of them for a couple of hours....but hey, I still love em)

When ~A~ told me she wanted us to blog together I thought I would just go to Laundry Hexes and share a funny experience once in a while. But ~A~ (despite thoughts that she couldn't carry a blog alone) really took off and flourished. I didn't want to stain her underpants, so I kinda backed away. Then SHE decided that I needed to do my own blog. I immediately thought, there was NO way I could do one by myself. But I am finding that sharing my adventures with my lovies is quite exhilarating. So I thought, I need to introduce the 4 that help create the tales that you have read and will be reading about.

First there is "The Boy". My oldest and only XY chromosome. He turns 9 tomorrow - his last single digit year. Now, let me tell you something about this child. He is smart. Now I know all mothers think their children are smart, but this kid, he is. "The Boy" has a photographic memory. He can recall things that he has read or seen on tv and apply them to situations a year or so later. For example, when he was 5 or 6, we were boating (on a fresh water lake) and decided to stop the boat and swim.(we were in the middle of the lake - and yes, he had a life jacket on) We jump in and all of a sudden he starts freaking out about being in fresh water. I was like.."boy" there aren't sharks in land locked fresh water lakes. He immediately stopped, looked at me like I was crazy and said: "Mom I KNOW, but animal planet had a show on 2 years ago about alligators......I don't want an alligator to get me. And Alligators live in fresh waters!" So there we were floating in a middle of the lake while I gave him a lesson on how it was EXTREMELY unlikely that alligators were not in the middle of a lake in Southern New Mexico. Did he hear any of it? No, he just had a sleeper hold around my neck and nearly made me pass out. Then he took off on a tangent about piranha-esque fish that nibble on feet. But, that's my boy. Always inquisitive and always ready to prove that you are wrong.

Next is my Girly-Girl "H". The first of my "dos equis". Ultra girly all the time. That's her. She is always concerned with her hair and clothes and likes to dance on poles. Yes, you read that correctly.....she likes to twirl on poles. Ever since she was a small child she would swing on tether ball poles, basketball goal poles, swing set poles. My husband even considered putting a pole in her room to help with her obsession. His theory was.....let her get good enough to make some money as an adult. Funny yes, I know...but not something that I want to imagine my witty, creative, pretty baby doing!!!! Like the boy she is a smartie as well - but she does get the blond look once in a while. She is a wonderful story writer and teller but sometimes, in the middle of a storytelling session, she will just stop, tilt the head and go into blond mode. Its the cutest and funniest thing you will ever see. I am constantly in awe of her and I hope she knows I am totally enamored with her!!

E-Gurl the second "dos equis", is my Middle middle child. Why do I call her my middle-middle? Because not only is she #3 and in the middle of the pack....she is the middle girl, so she has been hit with the curse of the middle child TWICE!!! Does she act like the classic middle child................. y e s ! ! !
It doesn't help that she has....ahhhhh, how do you say it, a bad temper? Is bad temper or explosive better? Henh, yes she has a temper, but when there is no aggravation from her older brother and sister she is a complete sweetheart!! She is always very conscience of every one's feelings, can be soft spoken, and is one of my little cuddle bugs!!! Her most valued possession is her pooh pillow and does not go anywhere without it. Of course, like the others, she is very smart and very intuitive. I love her more than she knows and always make sure all is right with her.

J-elf is the last of the "dos-equis" and the baby. *Sigh* what to say about this one? Crazy. That's it. CRAZY. She is completely crazy. Oh and she has a hair fetish. Yes, a hair fetish. This one constantly has something stuck in her hair. I am totally serious. You name it, it has been twirled into a dreadlock into the back of this child's head. Lincoln logs, forks, spoons, knives, french fries, barbie legs, leggos, hot dogs, straws, lollipops, markers, pens, pencils, twigs, branches, jump ropes, ribbons, spaghetti, chicken strips, need I go on? All of those things PLUS more have been twirled into a giant knot on her head. I have an entire file folder filled with pictures of things STUCK in her hair. We do not know why she does it...but she does. Oh, and it doesn't help that she is a little imp with a smile as innocent as you have ever seen!!! She knows more than she should (thanks to the older ones) and is as quick as a whip. Totally one who needs constant supervision!! Again, I love her more than life itself and am so glad she is mine!!!!

Just a small introduction to the 4 most important things in my life. I could write pages and pages about them, the little things they do, their little quirks. But that is what this blog is for. I hope I can weave stories that capture each and everyone of them and let you have a glimpse of their essence. For they each are wonderful and amazing in their own way.

Mommy I want to go faster

2008-07-28T21:12:00.000-07:00

When I had my 1st daughter I was in complete awe of her girleyness. From the moment I held her and heard her cry and studied her movements, I KNEW I had a girly girl.

I don't think I was scared to have such an ultra girly girl, it was just a bit forgein to me. And to tell you the truth, I had never seen myself as being a mother to girls, especially thinking of how tomboyish and ungirlyish I felt I was. In retrospect maybe that is why I was blessed with 3 beautiful daughters. Hmmm something to ponder. I will have to sit on that couch another day. But surely I digress........

My first daughter *H* has always been ultra girly. Not girly lite, like her mother, but top of the line girl-o supreme. As a toddler you would just have to give her the wrong look and she would twist up into a bag of emotions. The way she moves her head, holds herself, and even speaks is so utterly female it's unbelievable!!! I just need to express how feminine she is because when I found out about her secret wild streak, it shocked me. And its not just a ohhhh lets mix my hot pink nail polish with a red short outfit wild streak..........its a need for speed wild streak.

Oh yeah baybay.....speed. I first saw glimmers of this inclination towards speed when she was about 6 years old and my Dad let her take a ride on his 4-wheeler. He had been giving all the babies rides when *H* wanted to drive it herself. He said ok (it was not an automatic, it was a standard and he put it in the lowest gear possible) and she started going with my Dad walking besides her. I remember my Dad telling her to be careful and go slow etc etc. Then all of a sudden she decided to hit the gas and the quad lurched forward. My Dad was suprised and almost fell due to the lurch. He let go of the quad and *H* tried to take off. I was laughing so hard and in utter dire shock, I just remember *H*'s SCREAMS OF JOY and my Dad trying to run to catch her as she full throttled the quad in 1st gear. I will never forget when she was finally caught the sheer exhilaration on that childs face. That's when I knew my girly girl had a wild streak!

That streak does pop up in various places, but more so when we are camping and doing 4 wheel rides. So this year my Uncle had purchased a new quad. It was one that has way too much power for what the machine is intended.

Now I know you are a frequent reader and can probably see where this is headed....please, read on.

I had riden it by myself and it was a *bit* squirley when you hit the gas too fast, but nothing that I couldn't handle. So I offered to give the kids a ride and of COURSE they all jumped at the chance. Now I had already given rides SEVERAL times to the kids and we had always gone at slow speeds. *H-girl* immediately says she wants to go first. I said ok, lets go. I climb on and then she gets on behind me. Right before I start the quad *H* put her arms around my middle and very quietly whispers in my ear,

"Mommy I want you to go REALLY fast".
"Baby, we can't go too fast because I don't want you to get hurt."
*she giggles*
"MOMMY....but I want to go FAST"
I kinda turned and looked at her and saw this excited evil kneviel look in her eyes.
"Baby, you really want to go fast?"
"yeah - backwards"
"I will go a little fast for you...but not too fast"
*giggle, giggle, giggle*

So I fire up the quad and did a baby punch on the gas. Did I mention above that this thing has too much power for what is needed? Did I? Well it does. Huh....

So I hit the gas, we lurched (faster than I thought we would) and all while I was turning backwards. Do you *KNOW* what happenes when you are backing up in a turn with too much speed? Do you? Well take a wild guess. I felt it as soon as I hit the gas and immediately took my finger OFF the accelerator. Oh and the whole time there was a squeal of joy coming from behind me. I felt us tipping and tried to counter it.....as soon as I knew we were going to tip I immediately pushed *H* off and I dinked over right into a HUGE puddle of mud. I just sat there and I looked over at *H* and she had a bit of a shocked face on at first.....but soon after...she was laughing and smiling about it.

Were we hurt?

No, we weren't going fast enough during the dink over to get hurt. Although I was covered in mud.

Did we get back on and go for a ride?

Yes, but mommy refused to go faster than 10 mph.

Did I cure *H's* need for speed?

Henh.....What do you think??!?!?!?!?! *wink*

Countdown is ON!!!

2008-07-27T13:18:00.000-07:00

Hello, Hello, Hello!!!

WE MADE IT BACK FROM NM!!!

We had some bumps, accidents, and exciting adventures along the way and some stories need to be told. But truthfully, I don't have time. Know why? Of course you don't know why........you wanna know why? Well, yeah....I have 4 kids and a big mess to put away, but you can just attribute that to everyday occurances. Although, I should be putting the clothes away from the suitcases and getting the kids stuff back up in their rooms. And of course my hubby didn't do any of his laundry while he was gone. Oh yea, I have yesterday's dishes sitting in my sink......Hmmmmmmm.........

Wait, I was going to tell you why I have no time. Man, I really do have a lot of stuff to do. Maybe I should go do it and not write about why I have no time. But then I can't tell you the MAIN reason why I have no time...and its happening a week from tomorrow. Dare to guess? Wanna take a stab at it? Huh, stab...I need to get my skewers done for dinner tonight. Wow, my list is getting longer as I sit here and ponder. Hanh....oh sorry....let me tell you.....

One week from TOMORROW my kids GO BACK TO SCHOOL.

I know that is big news and I have a lot of stuff to get done for THEM, but in the same regards, it means I have to go back to work. I know, I know, the tears are starting to well up in your eyes, you feel the pain as much as I do, thank you, thank you. *sigh* Yes, not only do I need to get haircuts, last minute Dr. check ups, school supplies, and socks and underwear bought, I need to get my own shidizzle together. *whimper*

So I apologize for not telling the bear story, or the *H* and mommy 4-wheeler tip over, and The Boy's M.I.T (man in training) stories. Sounds fun huh...they are.

I guess with promises of stories to come, you will just have to check and see if any get written down. henh henh henh

Wish me luck and sanity to get through this week!!! I know I am going to need it!!!

Are we ready yet?!?!?

2008-07-11T11:08:00.000-07:00

I am trying to get ready to go on my annual New Mexico trip. The kids and I go spend a day or two in southern NM and then head up to northern NM and go camping for a week. It's fun and low key, but we still need a crapload of STUFF. This year I have gotten off lucky and I don't need to take up as much food as I use to, but I still have to pack the kids clothes, sleeping bags, tent, and various other items.

Sounds easy right?

Right?

RIGHT??????

I *thought* it was easy but we have had some speed bumps along the way.

Speed bump #1 - Laundry.

Per my post below, the laundry has not gone DOWN!! Since I did that post...what....2days ago. I have done an additional 5 loads of laundry. FIVE. I SERIOUSLY am getting fed up with it. I have one in the dryer and one waiting to go in the wash right now. I would normally leave a bit of laundry before taking off, but this stuff is damp pool towels/suits and I NEED to wash it. Besides....there are some shirts that the girls wore in the pool that they want to take camping. *ugh* And of course when I *do* laundry, I or someone has to put it away. Me asking the offspring has been leading to the next speed bump.

S.B. #2 - Sighing and rolling of the eyes with the "I can't believe you are making me do this" tone.

"Mooooooooooooooooooommmmmmmm...WHY do I have to keep putting my clothes away?!?!"
"Because they are your clothes and you can put them away."
loud loud *sigh* here
"Where are all these clothes coming from? Why can't you just put them away?"
"Well, if you would stop wearing so many clothes and putting them in with the wet pool towels, then I wouldn't have to wash them again."

You see that up there...........oh yeah, with every load of laundry I fold I get that. Aggrivating isn't it? ISN'T IT?!?!?! Umm hmmmm. My patience is wearing thin on that alone. But wait, its not just that, the sigh/tude has been out with every other little thing I have asked them to do.

"Put your dishes in the sink"
*SIGH/WHINE*
"Pick up your playroom so we can get ready to go."
*SIGH/WHINE*
"Can you guys clean your rooms real quick so I can get *in* there to help you pack?"
*SIGH/WHINE*
"Can you help me...."
*insert sighs and cries of over work HERE*

I will stop there becuase I am sure your head is starting to ache just from reading about it. Afterall, the weekend is coming up and I am sure you have your own whines to deal with and if you don't....then maybe this will be a good birth control method.

S.B. #3 - The War of the Children

If you remember
THIS?

Then thats all I have to say. Because I am trying to get something *DONE* THIS has been magnified by oh................ONE MILLION!!!!

And its not just the mind games going on, its becomming physical! Like the sitting on someone and crushing their chest cavity because the other *thought* they took their flashlight. Or the indian burn because one said they wanted the one red sleeping mat instead of the black sleeping mat. And the neck hold because they were fighting over which suitcase they were going to take.

Oh yeah.....its been great. Really great. And guess what?? We are still not ready to go. Maybe we should go primitive this year. Bare necessities, just the clothes on our backs and a few basic tools. Hmmm......smelly, cranky kids and sharp objects. Whoah.....maybe not. It still might be interesting..........*thinking and pondering*

Anyways, wish me luck and hope that I can come off the beautiful NM mountains will my sanity and all of my children.

The laundry is at it again

2008-07-09T07:44:00.001-07:00

I was *almost* positive all I had left was some sheets and towels, but today I noticed I have darks and warms. Is the dirty laundry calling the clean laundry out of the drawers or is there some weird reproducing that is occurring? I did 2 loads yesterday, yet, the pile looks the same.

I think I will set up a sting operation and find out what the heck is going on!!!

Standby.......

more to come

Fourth of July - 1 T - 0

2008-07-04T11:30:00.000-07:00

First casuality of the day:

I
burnt
my
middle
finger
pretty
bad

my
right
middle
finger

All because I used the pot holders that I took girl scout camping and some new troop mom had borrowed them to do something with the grill and ended up burning holes in the ends of them. I think she was trying to start her coals or something. Anyways
burnt finger from putting those on real quick and trying to get the cupcake pan out of the oven.......finger through hole onto 400 degree metal does NOT work.

at least I didn't catch on fire.......or at least.....not yet!!!

Happy Fourth of July to All!!

2008-07-04T07:22:00.000-07:00

We are just going to have some people over, swim, and eat your classic 4th of July Foods.

I hope you all have a safe and relaxing day!!!!

My first baby is 11 today

2008-06-30T16:14:00.001-07:00

I can't beleive that 11 years ago I gave birth to my firstborn. I became extremely vechlempt thinking that I have had him for 11 years and he could be leaving me in 7. It makes me sad to see my babies growing up.

What's for dinner.....and oldie but goodie...

2008-06-23T18:34:00.000-07:00

Written with ~A~ December 21, 2005
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I hate meal planning. Really, I do. I hate trying to figure out what to make for these spongers every night of the week. If you were to ask each one of my children what they wanted for dinner you would get 4 different answers. For Example:

The boy always wants Nachos. Really, there isn’t anything this boy won’t try to digest. But nachos are his THING!

“Mom, I want the Nachos with that cheese sauce you make and sour cream and spicy meat and chile and really hot salsa.”
“Not tonight Boy, we can’t have nachos.”
“Well….how about taco salads?”
“Isn’t that the same thing as nachos but WITH Salad?” (he sure is a sly one)
“Well……(now picture an 8 year old with the wheels turning) technically no, because I will use more lettuce than chips. *pause* AND I won’t need cheese sauce, just shredded cheese and maybe some ranch dressing.”
“No”
“UGH” I NEVER get to eat anything!!”

That’s right. I starve the boy. I won’t fix him nachos so he never gets to eat. What a terrible terrible life he must lead. *barf* *gag*

Now my 6 year old "H", she pretends to be the best, healthiest eater ever. I mean I mention cauliflower and her little face lights up. As long as she can look like the golden child she will eat anything. If I have three whineies about what’s for dinner, she comes in saying: "I will eat anything that you make mommy!! I LOVE IT!" AHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhh its good to know I have one good child. But unfortunately this declaration of palate easiness is what usually prompts my 5 year old, "E" into fits.

“MOM she is just saying that because she is trying to show off and be the bestest stinky poopie favorite girl!!”
“OK E girl, what do you want for dinner?”
“I don’t know…..anything that H doesn’t want. Oh, and make sure there are no potatoes in it.”
“You mean TOMATOS.”
“Right mommy……..I don’t like potatoes.”

This always prompts "H" to say "E": "You don’t know how to talk and whatever Mommy makes I will eat so you will never get to choose what’s for dinner." *insert screams of rage from "E" and hair pulling* “ITS NOOOOOOOOOOOOOT FAAAAIIIIRRRRRR!!! I NEVER GET TO CHOOSE.”

*sigh*

My 3 year old, J-elf" really doesn’t care what’s for dinner, because she usually doesn’t eat. If its not processed or a sweetened junk food, she won’t like it. Usually she just wants marshmallows or cookies for dinner. And being the last, WHAT THE HECK. WHY NOT. Go for it. As long as she isn’t screaming I am all for it!

Well - not really because I have a sense of Mommydoom when I think of my sweet 3 year old eating only marshmallows and cookies for dinner. What her teeth and little insides must look like from eating all that sugar. HOW CAN I ALLOW THAT. I must make greens and chicken and veggies for dinner! I MUST. And I do. And I get:

“WHAT THE HECK IS THIS?!?!”
“MOMMEEEEEEEEEEE this has POTATOS IN IT!”
“EWwwwwwwwwwww is this suppose to look like this?”
“What’s that smell…..did somebody barf in here?”

whine whine whine sawb sawb whine whine whine

“I thought we were having nachos?!?!?!?!?”
“Do we have to eat ALL of this?”
“Mommyyyyyyy I’m not hungry anymore”

*Sigh* Little bunch of ingrates. And to think, I get to do this every night!! At least I know I am not alone in my dinner dramas. ~A~ has similar issues!!

~A~ says:
______________________________________________________
Ahhhhhhhhhh yes, supper time, sends chills down my spine. I love to cook, but planning a meal around four kids fucking sucks.

Here, my kids are self proclaimed “Half-vegetarians”.

Me – “What the hell do you mean by that?” Yes I know I shouldn’t say hell to the kids but this caught me off guard.
Button (oldest at 8 and appointed kid rep) – “It means that we only eat meat and vegetables.”
Me – “Yes, that’s usually what we eat.”
Button – “But no potatoes. We don’t eat potatoes.”

Which is true, my kids will not eat potatoes. They’re probably the only kids in the world who will snarff down on piles of Brussels sprouts but set a French fry in front of them, or even a potato chip, they’ll scream like they’re being tortured inhumanely.

Let’s take a trip back in time. About five years, not too far.

Little Button is about 3 years old. One of my favorite ages, but this day we’re at my parents house and my mother has serve scalloped potatoes as a side dish.

Button taking a bite of potatoes – “Mmmmmmmmm oh oh oh, I’m going to yack!”
Me – “No, you’re being picky, eat your potatoes.”
Button spitting out the potatoes – “Noooooooooo weeally, I’m going to have a yackattack!”
Me – “Stop it Button and eat your potatoes, you love potatoes.” Which is true, until this day she loved them.
Nana spoons a bite of potatoes in Buttons mouth and she immediately throws up the potatoes all over the dining room table.

Every mother reading this can stop cringing, lucky of us it wasn’t a whole lot of puke and it wasn’t my table. HA!

And this begins the great potato revolt. The fact that Button being the oldest and most dramatic, her dislike for potatoes has spread fast than syphilis outbreak in Rockdale County. Mashed, baked, fried, chips, hidden in salads, it doesn’t matter they know there’s a hint of potatoes and it drama begins.

“I caaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan’t eat potatooooooooooooooooooooooooooooes! They make me throw up!”
“I hate potatoes, don’t cook them!”
“No no no NOT POTATOES!”

Which invokes the normal response, “These aren’t for you. Do I make you eat potatoes? No, so shut up and eat your broccoli.”

________________________________________________________________

*T* Says:

Ah yes, the broccoli. Every dinners saving grace. Can’t think of a veggie….throw in broccoli. THAT always works!

The Aggravator, The Antagonizer, and The Agitator

2008-06-22T10:51:00.000-07:00

I was watching my children interact with each other the other day and it suddenly dawned on me. I had flashes of Clint Eastwood's Spaghetti Westerns run through my mind. Aye Aye Aey wonh wonh wonhhhhhhhhhh The Good, The Bad and the Ugly - the theme song uttered off my lips. How many times have I watched that movie, too many to list. I knew the characters well and realized that each played a significant part in fulfilling the destiny of the title. Il buono, il brutto, il cattivo. I watched my children some more.......Ennio Morricone tunes wafting in my mind. Suddenly it hit me. I had my own version......The Aggravator, The Antagonizer, The Agitator and The Victim. Each of my children weaving in and out of every role, but always one of each in every volatile situation.

AYE AYE AYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

The Victim:

The poor soul who has been targeted to suffer that day. What else do I have to say about them.

The Aggravator:

This is the one who usually begins all "situations". They are the first one who sees that little something, who notices the one thing that is upsetting the victim. This is the one who must begin making life difficult for the victim. Their one goal is to make the victim upset. Or as the dictioary states: to make more severe; intensify, as anything evil, disorderly, or troublesome. Eveil.........as in the aggravator. They are the master button pusher. "Why are you doing that. You put it on wrong. You can't do that here. Give me back my pencil that you have." The aggravator is the supreme troublemaker of the day, the one who begins it all.

The Antagonizer:

The antagonizer immediately notices what the aggravator is doing. They have also noticed that the mother has already reprimanded the Aggravator. Now that they are out out of they way, its time for the Antagonizer to step up to the plate. This is the one who has to come in and rile the victim some more. The antagonizer notices that the victim is elevated by the aggravator. So they come in and go against everything the victim does. The Antagonizer must perpetuate the situation. If the victim yells stop doing that.....they don't. The victim says stop, the antagonizer says no. The victim says leave me alone, the antagonizer doesn't. Definition of the Antagonizer: to act in opposition to. Anything the victim says....the antagonizer must do the complete opposite. Usually the antagonizer gets a little help from the mother because her reasoning is to ignore them. That just makes the antagonizer work even harder. The poor victim usually begins the screaming after the antagonizer which leads to a blanket ultimatum for all.

The Agitator:

The closer in the entire scenario and the last of the onslaught. They PRETEND to lie in alliance with the victim when all they are doing is lying low under the radar. The agitator has seen the mother already reprimand the aggravator and the antagonizer. He has even been privy to the blanket ultimatum. She may have been present when the mother soothed and calmed the victim down. They are the one who has to come in for the ultimate kill. They are silent and not as bold as the Aggravator. They are coy, not as direct as the antagonizer. The Agitator slips in extremly quitely, nonchalantuntly and riles up the victim all over again. The agitator is the most sly and direct of them all. They are the one who usually brings the tears because they excite the vicitm in a way that causes great emotional distress. Once the agitator has done their job, all 4 know that the end is here.

Aye Aye Ayeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee Wonh Wonh Wonh

The Aggavator, The Antagonizer, and the Agitator. Each one playing his or her part against the victim. Always the same plot, with different actors in every role. When will they strike, I do not know. But rest assured I am on to them!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ct6p0sP_KSk

The Great Corn Famine

2008-06-12T16:57:00.000-07:00

Apparently across the west there is a great corn famine. I hope its not as bad at the Irish potato famine. I was greatly concerned when I trekked into my local costco. But rest assured, the organic sweet white niblets were stocked up nicely. I am relieved that it is passing the great state of Arizona!!!

pssst......if you need some......hit me up and I can ship it to you for a nominal fee. Look at me finding my calling on the black corn market!!!

My Music Prodigy

2008-06-11T08:19:00.000-07:00

My son is currently trying to teach himself how to play the piano. He decided this 2 days ago. I taught him some basic fingering and 3 scales and chords. He has picked it up incredibly FAST!! He is now trying to pick out the music for Indiana jones. He has the lead part....but the bass (chord part) he is getting angry with. LOL Should I tell him that he shouldn't get so frustrated on his second day?

Watch out I AM armed!!!!

2008-06-03T09:19:00.001-07:00

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

Lazy Summer Mornings

2008-06-02T07:37:00.000-07:00

I love mornings like this. Woke up super early, put laundry in, came downstairs and sat on my back porch. As I sat I thought that I better enjoy this now because soon mornings will be too hot to do this. I listened to birds, checked my fruit trees, looked at my gardens. Then 2 of my lovies came down tried to curl in my lap. Decided it was too cramped so we moved to the sofa for optimal cuddling. We have decided that it a definite french toast day. Off to cook with my lovies. I think its a start to a lovey day.

I have 15 boy traits and 7 girl traits

2008-05-28T15:20:00.000-07:00

YOUR BOY SIDE:
[x] you love hoodies
[x] you love jeans
[x] dogs are better then cats
[x] you’ve played with/against boys on a team
[] shopping is torture
[] sad movies suck
[] you own a XBOX
[x] you own a Wii
[x] you played with Hot Wheels as a little kid
[] at some point in life you wanted to be a firefighter
[x] you owned a DS, PS2 or Sega
[] you used to be obsessed with Power Rangers
[x] you watch sports on TV
[x] gory movies are cool
[x] you go to your dad for advice
[] you own like a trillion baseball hats
[] you used to/do collect football collector cards
[] baggy sweatpants are cool to wear
[] its kind of weird to have sleepovers with a bunch of people
[x] green, black, red, blue, or silver are one of your favorite colors
[] you love to go crazy and not care what other people think
[x] sports are fun
[x] sometimes you talk with food in your mouth
[x] sometimes you sleep at night with your socks on
[x] you have fished at least once
TOTAL= 15

YOUR GIRL SIDE
[] you love to shop
[x] you wear makeup
[] you wear the color pink
[x] you go to your mom for advice
[] you consider cheerleading a sport
[] you hate wearing the color black
[] you like going to the mall
[] you like getting manicures and/or pedicures
[] you like wearing jewelry
[] skirts are a big parts of your wardrobe
[] shopping is one of your favorite hobbies
[] you don’t like the movie Star Wars
[] you are/were in gymnastics
[] it takes you around one hour to shower
[x] you smile a lot more than you should
[x] you have more than 10 pairs of shoes <--- if they are birk's or tennis does that count?
[x] sometimes you care about what you look like
[x] you like wearing dresses when you can
[] you like high heel shoes
[x] you used to play with dolls as a kid
[] you like putting makeup on others
[] pink is one of your favorite colors
TOTAL= 7

REPOST THIS AS::
I have _boy traits and_girl traits

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I was packed in to tightly

2008-05-28T09:20:00.000-07:00

There is one thing to say about packaging peanuts when you use them correctly -- they can really pack you in!!!! I have found this last year was packed TIGHTLY with those annoying things - working full time, 4 kids in various activities, brownie leader, basketball coach, wife, mother, maid, cook, errand runner. Those peanuts slowly and quietly stacked in around me. Now with the beginning of summer, I find that there is a little more room to move and do things that I LIKE to do. I can't remember doing something that I liked to do just to do it. But then again, my life lately seems to be ruled by my 4 lovies. This IS their time and I must devote myself to them. So if that means that I have less time for myself and my likes, so be it.

What has been happening you wonder? LOTS!!! Here is a quick run down of the last year.

-My eldest and only son (aka the boy) has developed into the most hysterical thing you have ever witnessed. He is so quick witted and HYSTERICAL that all who know him SWEAR he will be famous someday!! He has been creating movies and videos which he posts on YouTube (don't worry - he is not allowed to show his face....his videos consist of weird objects that "act") and he is becomming an avid song writer. My current fave is his tonsilitis song he created when he was sick from a cold. He has been teaching himself the piano and did a stint with the schools 5th grade band playing the trombone. Which (please forgive me) usually sounded like a dying moose. Not that I have ever HEARD a dying moose....that is what I would have expected one to sound like if I *DID* hear one. I have a suspicion though that he was doing that on purpose so Dad would tell him to stop practicing - because the band teacher told me he was a natural! Hmmmmmmmmm He is still an avid reader of wikipedia online and loves the Discovery Health Channel. Just a couple of nights ago when I offered orange jello for dessert, he gave his sisters a dissertation on where gelatin came from. Needless to say, they did NOT eat the jello and he smiled and said...great...just more for me.

-My second child, girly girl H, also makes me laugh...but for different reasons. My darling has just completed the 3rd grade and she has really changed and blossomed this year. She is becomming more involved with "girl politics" and I always get all the gossip at the end of the day. The funny thing about it is HOW she tells me. Its like Joan Rivers giving the scoop on some gossip show. Her eyes get all big and she takes in big breaths and rolls her eyes. I love how the 8/9 year old girl drama is totally taking over. She is also becomming a bit of a sass a frass. You ask her something and its a ...well maybe if I can get it in my schedule. Lets just say we are working on that right now! LOL The one thing that makes me feel fuzzy about this one is how she is starting to mature and become responsible. She watches #3 like a hawk and is always the first to tell me..."Mom, I think she is looking puffy...please go check her". She is also very kind and protective of J-elf or her "peep in training". Its always nice when you have to explain to people why she is calling her sister the "pit". Oh heaven help me.

-My third child (E-gurl) is my lovey dovey. Her year in 2nd grade has been one of ups and downs. Some of the downs were trying to fit in and some body image issues. Now this made me ANGRY. E-gurl is a very beautiful girl...truly (I have even had several of the moms with boys tell me that they all had crushes on her). But she is very tall and not waif thin. She was told that she was too big or too tall to do things at recess with the other girls. This broke my heart and E-gurl's. We worked A LOT on what is normal and she realized on her own that there is no normal. She became more confident and was able to deal with the kids at school. She even started stepping up and helping those who may not have had friends. I was so proud of her. She is continuing to have some issues with her allergies and we are reacting to different things every month. It's difficult for me because I don't know when she will go or what is causing it. She is pretty in tune to when she starts puffing, so that is good!!

-My fourth. J-elf. What do I have to say about her. Well, of course, being girly-girl H's prodigy we are in DEEP trouble! She just finished her kinder year and the changes have been remarkable. She is an avid artist and is really very good!! She still gets into A LOT of trouble and say's the funniest things. Example: After decorating for Christmas J-elf was quite impressed with my santa collection. She turned to me and said, "When Santa gets here he is going to look around and say, Holy Hell those are a lot of Santas!!" She also has been exposed to Austin Powers (thanks daddy) and is constanly quoting Fat Bastard. Her favorite: "I've got a crap on deck that could choke a donkey!" Since daddy howls everytime she says this, it has become the thing she will say when she really does have to poo. It was great in Target last week because we walked in and all the stalls were occupied and she yelled, in the worst scottish accent ever, "Those people better hurry because she had a (insert line from above)". What am I to do with her with her bad movie quotes and her bluntness? I guess love her like we already do!

I know that wasn't even a run down of the year...and as I unpack myself I may remember some past stories that need to be told. Hopefully I can sit and tell a story once and again.

Hopefully!!!

To My Friends

2007-11-02T16:24:00.000-07:00

Even though I may not have spoken to many of you in a while - Know that I still remember all of your HeartSongs and think of you often!!

**smooch** *smooch*

What is she going to do with herself?!

2007-06-06T17:45:00.000-07:00

I had one of those freak out moments this afternoon where I don't want my children ever EVERY to leave me. So I saw them all in the family room and said to them,

"None of you must EVER EVER leave me."

My oldest said OK mom....I will never leave you. Then my two younger ones said....oh no Mommy...we will NEVER EVER EVER leave you.

My 2nd child ~H~ (who is 8) just sat there. So I said again.

"I think mommy's heart would break if you guys ever leave. Just promise that you will always be near me."

Again the 3 vowed their dedication to me and promised never to leave. ~H~, AGAIN, just sat there. So I finally asked her:

"~H~ didn't you hear what I said?!?"

She just looked at me and sighed and kinda rolled her eyes:

"MOM..*tsk*....how am I suppose to go to Japan or all over the world if I am stuck here with you?!?!" And then she did that "whatever" look/sigh thing she does.
"I can't hang with you because you ruin my style" Then flipped her head, turned around, and walked out of the room.

I just stood there with my mouth a bit open and eyes wide. Then I had a giggle fit. My feelings weren't hurt. Not one bit......I just sat and plotted how I am going to ruin her teenage style! muwhahahahahahahaha I simply CAN'T WAIT!!!

No, I really don't want to know what you are thinking

2007-06-04T20:51:00.001-07:00

My children have had a BRUTALLY honest day with me today. Usually I have one or two telling me my faults, but today, I had all 4. Some of the highlights today were:

My son - He told me that I was huge. I said I know I am a tall person etc....but then he said...well yeah....but why does your bottom have to be SO BIG. *sigh* I had to tell him that not only did I need those huge muscles in my bottom to move my long long legs......but having to birth 4 babies made my bottom that way. Little Punk!!

Then while cuddling my two middle girls, ~H~ and ~E~, on the couch...they started examining my face. ~H~ said....why is your skin getting wrinkled. I don't remember you having all those lines. The ~E~ was like...whats that? Is that a zit? Ummmhmmmm....Well aren't you too old for that?!?! Then one of them retrieved a magnifying glass and they started an in depth discussion on my zits and I guess my gargantuan pores. Oh yeah. They sat there for almost an hour examining every inch of my face. Its nice being told by your 8 and 7 year old all the work you need done. *Hurmph* Then to highlight that whole morning.....while we were at our friends house Emma proclaimed to her....Yeah, mom has a mole and a TON of zits. Do you want me to show you?!?! My friend gracefull declined after I shot her a look of say yes and die.

Then to end the day my J-elf came to give me huggies and kissies goodnight and she said; "mommy I LOVE you." Then she hugged me....backed away looked at me and said. I really like you mommy. I was like Awwwwwwww J-elf I love and like you too. Then she tilted her head and looked at me and said...."I like YOU......but you have smelly poop." OK...WTH did that come from?!? I did have a BM today...but she was no where near me or the bathroom during the day. OK Whatever my darling. I love you too. And she reminded me even though I had smelly poop she still loved me.

I guess thats the thing I should just take from today. No matter my bottom size, or skin issues or poop smells.....they love me unconditionally. Just the way I love them. Thank goodness for that!

Just another day

2007-06-02T20:18:00.000-07:00

It was just another day or piddling around in my yard. My hubby and I Water Sealed our playset, transplanted some trees (because of that giant cement hole in our yard), and started on some clean up work. Then my lovah came in and made linner for us while I made molten lava cakes. We all sat picnic style in our family room and talked and looked at books. Now the lovah is upstairs putting the babies to bed and I am sitting here in a bit of quiet. I may go clean up the dinner mess, but then again.......I may not!

All in all it was a wonderful day.

Chores for the day

2007-05-31T10:17:00.000-07:00

Laundry

Dishes

Pick up toys.

Chores for yesterday:

Pick up Toys

Dishes

Laundry

Chores for the previous Days:

Same as above.

Do you happen to see the evil cycle that I am living here?!?! ARRRGGGGGGGGGG!!!

My Girls are spoiled!!

2007-05-30T20:55:00.001-07:00

Right now........this VERY INSTANT....Daddy is taking his 3 girls upstairs and putting them to bed. Mean mommy just said you three go up and brush your teeth and get ready.......the 3 of them immediately ran to daddy and did their.......we are so scared daddy....come with us....read us a story......cuddle us daddy PHULEASE!!!!

He immediately gets up and is now upstairs with his babies. Now the monster voice and the girls running around squealing. Thump thump thump right over my head. In fact, I hear them making a pow wow in our room!!! Sounds like cramped quarters tonight.

But honestly, I can't complain. This time goes by so quickly and soon our babies will not want to be camping out with us or squealing at simple scarey voices. I will treasure this and treasure the fact that Daddy does spoil his girls!!

The messes I need to clean up right now.

2007-05-30T13:11:00.000-07:00

I have several big messes in my life right now that I am trying to clean up. Most of them are superficial regular kind of messes. Dishes, kids playroom, LAUNDRY, etc. But I do have some messes that are relationship wise. How do I fit within the relationship, is this a realtionship that I just need to let go of, how can I fix this current relationship.

I know the answers and what I need to do to clean all of my messes. But the thought of actually doing it, well, *sigh*, it exhausts me. And I am stuck right now trying to find the motivation to get my butt in gear and CLEAN UP. But I know I can do it......and I WILL do it.

Although.................

The laundry mess has me stumped. I swear the clothes are secretely mating upstairs. I have secret survalience going on.....I will catch them. I will!! And soon the entire world will know....oh yes, they will!!

My husband ROCKS

2007-05-28T14:24:00.000-07:00

I have a rockin huband...............why......well let me tell you.

He loves to bake cookies and brownies. Oh....and he does not use boxed recipes. He hunts for recipes or will just make up his own. *sigh* Its so awesome!!!

Love is when your husband of 10+ years comes in with homemade brownies with cookies n cream ice cream on top.

Its SUMMERTIME!!!

2007-05-27T10:02:00.000-07:00

Thanks goodness for that!! I was on the verge of a complete mental breakdownfreakout.

Now I can piddle around and FIX my beautiful garden. Oh....did you know I planted a garden this year?!?! I did.....it was B E A U T I F U L!!! I have several different kinds of berry vines (which I am hoping will do well here in Phoenix), and I have yellow squash, zukes, cukes, carrots, watermelon, cantaloupe, strawberries, green beans, a TON of grape vines, onions, lettuce, pumpkins, 3 different types of corn, and giant sunflowers.

Notice I said it was beautiful. That is because I had it all in by March. It was doing AWESOME. Then my husband threw a pitch fork at me and gave us a suprise.

We are getting a pool.

YAY!!!! But that meant I had to transplant a ton of my zukes and yellow squash. They are coming back ok.....but I did loose the pretty little finger sized veggies on them. But I saved the plants so they can produce later this summer. And my corn is right by the gigantic hole in my yard. The rebar guys were really careful traipsing through it and didn't hurt any stalks. Now I just have to worry about the concrete guys who are coming on Tuesday to fill our big hole with Cement. Its only been 2 weeks and our guy says it should be done in 2. Its going to be awesome!!

YAY FOR SUMMER!!

If you Give a Mom a Muffin

2007-05-13T10:33:00.000-07:00

**disclaimer.....I DID NOT write this. But I LOVE IT!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If you give a Mom a Muffin

If you give a Mom a muffin,
She'll want a cup of coffee to go with it.
She'll pour herself some.
The coffee will get spilled by her three year old.
She'll wipe it up.

Wiping the floor, she will find some dirty socks.
She'll remember she has to do some laundry.
When she puts the laundry in the washer,
She'll trip over some snow boots and bump into the freezer.
Bumping into the freezer will remind her she has to plan dinner for tonight.

She will get out a pound of hamburger.
She will look for her cookbook (101 Things to Make With a Pound of
Hamburger).
The cookbook is sitting under a pile of mail.
She will see the phone bill which is due tomorrow.
She will look for her checkbook.

The checkbook is in her purse that is being dumped out by her two year old.
She'll smell something funny.
She'll change the two year old.
While she is changing the two year old the phone will ring.
Her four year old will answer it and hang up.

She remembers that she wants to phone a friend to come for coffee on Friday.
Thinking of coffee will remind her that she was going to have a cup.
She will pour herself some.

And chances are......
If she has a cup of coffee......
Her kids will have eaten the muffin that went with it.

We are almost done!!

2007-05-11T20:55:00.000-07:00

Things are wrapping up in my end of the world and I might be able to breathe soon!!! I am so excited!! Here is a quick list:

1) 9 more days of school for the kids!!

I LOVE summer break! I LOVE having my children near me and with me all day long. Yes they fight, yes they drive me batty, but I LOVE them and I LOVE them being with me. Craziness and all.

2) 9 more days of school means 9 more days of work for me!

WOOT!! I GET MY BREAK.

3) No more brownie meetings!!

I love brownines and will be the leader next year....but I don't have to worry about that till September!

Oh did I mention 9 more days of school!!! The count down is on baybay!!!!

A Picture of ME

2007-05-02T21:03:00.001-07:00

This is my 4 year olds artistic rendering of me with my hair in braids. I am particularly proud of my coy look, plump lips, and rapunzelesque braids. I am a total HOTTIE!!

Just PLEASE don't marry a Kevin

2007-05-01T22:10:00.000-07:00

Every morning I wake up, get myself together and try to get my 4 children dressed, fed, hair and teeth brushed, lunches made, everything packed up for school, shoes on and out the door without too much of a hassle by 7:30 am. You may not think that it's hard, and it may not be, if I could drag my lazy butt out of bed at 5. But I don't. I sit in bed and procrastinate till about 6:30. Then its me jumping up and running around like a chicken with its head cut off. With this in mind, let me tell you what happened 2 weeks ago.

It was our typical morning of starting too late. The only difference this day was my kids were fighting me on everything we ALWAYS do. Instead of getting dressed I had babies playing with barbies and just laying in the middle of the floor. Instead of getting dressed and going downstairs to start breakfast, I had babies coloring and playing recorders. Needless to say, I was starting to get stressed because it was 7:10 and NO one was ready, NO one was fed, and who knew WHERE their backpack stuff was!! So I threw outfits at all the kids and told them to hurry up and get dressed while I went downstairs to make lunches and throw together some sandwiches to eat on the way to school. Now I usually don't dress my children, they are more than capable of dressing themselves. But I do help with certain zippers/belts/buttons. So when I handed out clothes, I gave my youngest, J-elf, a dress KNOWING she could totally get herself together and ready. When she came down I noticed that the dress was a bit above her knees, note to self, the girl was growing. And since it wasn't too short or odd looking I let her wear it.
So start kinda freaking out on the kids, throw them in the car, and off to school.

Well, right before the time I was suppose to get J-elf from preschool, I get a call in the classroom from the nurse. When I saw the number my heart jumped (my E-gurl has allergy issues and I KNEW it was going to be about her) But I hear this voice asking me what kind of mother I was. I was like WHAT THE HECK...who is this?!?! Come to find out it was one of the kinder teachers, and she continued to rant about how she was going to report me to CPS. (don't worry....this woman and I go way back and have an excellent rapport...the wench) Anyways, I was like calm down Tif - why you giving me a hard time. Well APPARENTLY at kinder/preschool pick up my daughter was sitting on the curb, in her short skirt, withOUT panties flashing all the parents in the pick up line. In fact, it was SEVERAL of the parents who allerted the kinder teachers on duty that the little girl right in front was flashing her who haw to EVERYONE. Luckily I am friends with all the kinder teachers and they whisked my daughter to the nurse to try to make her decent. *sigh* I immediately ran down to get her and on my way the news was already through several teachers and I had several come to me asking me why I didn't give my girl panties, what kind of girl I was raising etc etc etc. The whole walk down to the nurse I kept thinking I KNOW I gave that girl panties. WHY didn't I notice that she did NOT have them on?!?! Oh crap.....I KNEW I woldn't live this one down for a while.

When I got to the nurse another Kinder teacher (one who I have a zinger war with) asked me if I had seen Brittney yet. I was like who are you talking about....and she said....BRITTNEY....YOUR DAUGHTER.

Here
it
comes

OHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh yeah....REAL FUNNY. So now the kinder team has been refering to my J-elf as Brittney. And everytime she is in a dress, they ask for a panty check. Man how I hate those women.

Oh and you know what else I haven't been living down? When they asked J-elf WHY she didn't have panties on she said. "Mommy kept yelling at me to put my shoes on. She didn't yell at me to put my PANTIES on. (then insert big sigh/eye roll here)" Which also led to her proclaiming how the only way we get ready in the morning is mommy running around the house in her panties yelling at everyone to get dressed and ready for school. Do I even need to tell you the heck I have been receiving because of this. DO I!?!?!?

I
don't
think
so.

WHY I DON'T BLOG

2007-04-28T13:25:00.000-07:00

I was reading a friends blog and one of her topics was "Why I Blog". It was, as always with this friend, extremely eloquent and an AWESOME post to read. So being inspired by her, I was going to say a few things about why I blog. But then I logged on.........................and I was like, WHAT THE HECK.

I

DON'T

BLOG!

I have tried and (yes I may have to admit) I am not successful at blogging. WHEW....I said it. You don't know how hard that was. Especially since I tend to be an overachiever and try REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY hard to be successful at everything I do. But I have to say......its kinda nice to get that off my chest. Lets see, the sky didn't come falling down, my children didn't turn to salt, my husband is still sitting here. Wait.......that may be a punishment.....or a sign that I was unsuccessful. Hmmmm must ponder that later., but now onto why I am an unsuccessful blogger:

1) TIME

I have NOOOOOO time. Literally NO time. This past year I have started working full time again at the lovies school. And since I AM an overachiever, I have taken on a LOT of things there. Not only am I working with disabled kids during the day, I coached basketball in the spring and am currently coaching track. Oh...and did I mention I also tutor in the evenings. THEN I have my 4 and their various activities and am co-leading a brownie troop. (I will be leader next year) Then I get home and have to do all the things I was doing as a stay at home mom. Oh and we have stopped eating processed foods/eating out - so I cook from scratch a lot and that takes time. Then the mess..............then then then.......you get the picture.

2) I feel I am not an eloquent writer

Even though I know this blog is suppose to be for me - other people READ it. I don't want to come off as an uneducated moron who can't put a proper sentence together. Not that I SHOULD care what people think.......I just don't want to look like a yahoo. And believe me, I have TRIED to be consise and short - but again I have a hard time. I feel that if I am GOING to write, I want to paint a portrait. I WANT you to hear the kids whining, I want you to have the exact picture in your head of the entire situation, I want you to experience my tales as they have happened. And I ramble........oh heavens I RAMBLE. So a 15 minute type job of the kids trying to launch boiled eggs out of the 2nd story window turns into an hour ramble and you must refer back to 1) TIME to see why I don't have an hour. Did that make sense? I don't care...because this is already taking WAY to long.

3) Well, I know there should be a 3 because things always come in 3's, or is that just bad things come in 3's? Because I can write a NOVEL on why THAT isn't true. But again, no time to do that and who would buy a 600 page ramble? Ooppsss.....I hear the man I married yelling at someone. My time is up.

Adios and check in once in a while. You may see a thought or ramble grace these pages.

xxoox

9 Word Definitons for Men

2007-01-26T12:32:00.000-08:00

My Auntie sent this and its allllllll soooooooooooo TRUUUUEEEEEEEEEE!!!!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

1.) FINE: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

2.) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five Minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

3.) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

4.) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

5.) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)

6.) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

7.) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say you're welcome.

8.) Whatever: Is a women's way of saying F@!K YOU!

9.) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking, "what's wrong", for the woman's response refer to # 3.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

And men, PLEASE PLEASE, watch out for Combinations.

Some of my more famous combo's towards my lovah are:

6-5-8

4-5-8

6-5-8

8-9-3

and of course:

8-8-8
8
8
8
7

The day I heard T tell me she caught on fire

2007-01-24T18:30:00.001-08:00

This last summer while Big-R was living out of state because *T* had enough of his man shit and told him to get a job in the next state, *T* (being the most awesomeness mother in all the south west land) was grillin' up some grub for her beebees. I think it was burgers. Actually I can't remember if she was grillin' or not because I was driving some place when she was telling me this and I have to watch out for all the crazy California transplants that on the roads. But I did hear..... "And then I caught on fire..... and my hair was smoldering.... and I told Younger-R to call.... he said "Mom you're smoking".... and I was on my way to the shower.... and now I have no eye brows, arm hair and half my hair is burnt off."

And that is the story of *T* catching on fire, told by me, the most wondermos ~A~

I suck at Blogging

2007-01-22T19:14:00.000-08:00

I suck at it, I do. I ususally don't have enough time to write out the Drama's of my day, because you know, putting it down in 2 precise paragraphs is WAAAY not my style. I need to elaborate, ramble, and have many, many, many run on sentences. Lots of FUNNY things do happen to us. We DO lots of things in my house. But I am just not good at putting them down.

Please forgive me readers (if I happen to have any). And check back once in a while to see if I have left you with a treat to pass your eyes over.

Its a New Year

2007-01-05T07:52:00.000-08:00

Now that 2006 has past, I think I will try to start telling stories of the year from Hell. I never did because I didn't want to anger the gods of fate......but the way the year ended......I must have done it anyways.

I think yelling in a hospital parking lot,"CURSE YOU FATE", with a clenched fist raised in the air and people staring at you like your are a lunatic was not a smart idea.

So the stories of anaphalysis, Scarlet Fever, Concussions, Rheumatic Fever, Valley Fever, knocked out front teeth, hospital stays and me being on fire will all come. (esp since I see ~A~ trying to pull out the fire story with her BEINGSHOTWITHANARROW here . LOL)

May 2007 be uneventful for all of you.........and especially me!

Lookie meeeeeee

2006-12-17T19:32:00.000-08:00

What type of Fae are you?

Making Christmas........Making Christmas

2006-12-13T07:47:00.000-08:00

I wanted to put that on my card....but unless you are familar with Tim Burtons A NightMare Before Christmas, you would think I was kinda crazy.

But you see........I am crazy and so are my kids (which I ABSOLUTELY LOVE) and we just HAD to take pictures with one of our most favorite holiday personas!!

Making Christmas, Making Christmas, its so fineeeeeeeeeeee..........

From: The Nightmare Before ChristmasWritten by: Danny Elfman
[Clown:]This time, this time
[Group:]Making Christmas
[Clown:]Making Christmas
[Mayor:]Making Christmas, making Christmas Is so fine
[Group:]It's ours this time And won't the children be surprised It's ours this time
[Child Corpse:]Making Christmas
[Mummy:]Making Christmas
[Mummy and Corpse Child:]Making Christmas
[Witches:]Time to give them something fun
[Witches and Creature Lady:]They'll talk about for years to come
[Group:]Let's have a cheer from everyoneIt's time to party
[Duck Toy:]Making Christmas, making Christmas
[Vampires:]Snakes and mice get wrapped up so niceWith spider legs and pretty bows
[Vampires and Winged Demon:]It's ours this time
[Corpse Father:]All together, this and that
[Corpse Father and Werewolf:]With all our tricks we're
[Corpse Father, Werewolf and Devil:]Making Christmastime
[Werewolf:]Here comes Jack
[Jack:]I don't believe what's happening to meMy hopes, my dreams, my fantasiesHee, hee, hee, hee
[Harlequin:]Won't they be impressed, I am a geniusSee how I transformed this old ratInto a most delightful hat
[Jack:]Hmmm, my compliments from me to youOn this most intriguing hatConsider though this substituteA bat in place of this old ratHuh! No, no, no, now that's all wrongThis thing will never make a presentIt's been dead for much too longTry something fresher, something pleasantTry again, don't give up
[Three Mr. Hydes:]All together, this and thatWith all our tricks we're making Christmastime
[Group:]This time, this timeMaking Christmas, making ChristmasLa, la, laIt's almost here
[Group and Werewolf:]And we can't wait
[Group and Harlequin:]So ring the bells and celebrate
[Group:]'Cause when the full moon starts to climbWe'll all sing out
[Jack:]It's Christmastime Hee, hee, hee

Tell me what you want to hear mom

2006-11-22T18:41:00.000-08:00

With Thanksgiving tomorrow, and a myriad of Thanksgiving projects coming home talking about thankfullness etc etc etc, I decided to ask my lovies what they were thankful for. In doing this was I looking for some motherly validation? Ummmmmmmm yah.......I expected them to say some sort of trivial trinket or toy, but I also wanted to hear that they were most thankful for their beautiful, smart, and fun mom!!!! Duh!!! So I hunted my kids down and questioned them.

This is what I got:

My 4 year old and sweet little girl looked at me with her big blue eyes and said....."My Little POOOONIIIEEESS"

ok ok ok.....she is the pony queen. I KNEW she would say this. But then I prodded some more. "Is there anything else J-elf?!?"
"ummmmmmmmmmmm no."
Ok baby girl. (I knew that this child was still 4 and I haven't had enough time to brainwash her yet so I set off for the next oldest)

I hunt down E-girl who is 6 and ask her what she is most thankful for.
"My pooh pillow."
OK AGAIN obvious choice because this is her most FAVORITE THING EVAH. If we don't have pooh pillow around....the girl won't sleep. OK, I said, anything else?!?!
"My toys and lipstick"

HURMPH. Again I brush it off on age (and make a mental note that I may have to watch her and her vainity) and go to the next one.

Girly girl H (who is 7) is asked the question and she immediately says...
"YOU know what I am thankful for!" could it be...the validation I was looking for!! I always knew she should be my favorite "Build A Bear!!!" *sigh* How could I not have seen THAT one coming. OK OK OK....anything else?!?! She tilted her little blonde head to the side, blinked at me like she was starting to think hard and said...."I dont' know!!?!? Hmmmmmm.......Target?" The girl is a blonde....I will let her slide on that. (and again note to self: No credit cards/debit cards for this one)

I have one left..........and he is the oldest and wisest of the bunch. My 9 year old. SURELY this one will have a CLUE that I am fishing for some love.

So Boy........What are you most thankful for?!?!

"FOOD!!!"

FOR THE LOVE..........I guess he must have seen me roll my eyes because he immediately followed up with:

"Oh....did you want to hear I was thankful for you...because I can tell you that you know!!"

Bunch of Ingrates!!!

And she wants to keep them

2006-11-02T15:52:00.000-08:00

A quick J-Elf funny. I picked her up yesterday from my friends house and I didn't have any of her older siblings. She looked at me and said....

"Where is everyone mommy?"

I looked around the car amazed and said..........

"Gasp!" "I dont' know J-elf.....I think I lost them!!!"

I only said that because I thought she would be like -ALL RIGHT LETS PARTY!!!

"Aren't you soooooooo happy....you get to be the ONLY baby now!! You can have Mommy and Daddy all by yourself!!! We are going to have SOOOOO much fun!!! You can have all their toys! YOU get to be the CENTER of attention!!! YAY J-Elf!!!"

She looked at me.................

her eyes got WIDE open

then

she

CRIED.

I don't mean just a few tears...but true, scared, hysterical Cryyyying.

"WHY did you do that mommmeeeeeeee. R, H and E need your huggies and kissies TOOOOOOO" *sawb* *sawb* *sawb* "You can't loose them!!! Poor R, H and E!!! What if someone takes them!!!" *gasp* *sawb* start to almost hyperventilate!!

uh oh.....what a mommy faux pas I just did. Think *guilt* Think *guilt* Think.........

"OK OK OK ....stop crying baby.......We can find them. Promise...Mommy will find them!!"

"you better mommy....or I will be so sad forever!!!"

So needless to say I couldn't have the sweet thing so sad forever!! The dagger that pierced my heart when she said that to me......*OUCH* So, I found them (we picked them up from their afterschool activities) and J-elf was a happy camper. She even congratulated me profusely for doing such a good job 'finding' her siblings.

YAY ME!!!!!

Can I say that even though I provoked the entire episode! Hmmm well, maybe.....just a little quieter since I did make the 4 year old burst into hysterics!!

Yay Me!

Poor thing...she will probably have some sort of getting lost complex now. Maybe a little quieter.

yay me

I can't WAIT for this year to be over

2006-10-15T16:47:00.000-07:00

2006 has been a sucky year. VERY sucky indeed. I can't, or for that matter, don't want to list all the sucky things that have happened this year.

Why you ask?

Because you would never believe me if I did. I look back and I can't believe the kind of year we have had. If someone else told me this was their year....I would think they were suffering from Munchausen Syndrome .
Really.
I am not exaggerating.
Uh oh....I am exaggerating....maybe I am a sufferer or M.S. Hmmm...I should have that looked at.

In fact, I have not even shared the whole extent of it with my real or online friends. Is that bad? Does that make me an introvert who doens't want to burden the people I should be leaning on for support? Hmmmmm wait.....now this makes the the exact opposite of a person suffering from M.S. This gives me hope. Yes it does............*hmmmmmm*

Or does that just make me someone who is trying to fight the label of an M.S. person?!?!?! *gasp* *snigger* *snort* Just the fact I keep pointing out that I don't want to be a M.S. person is enough, in itself, to say I may be a sufferer of this syndrome. I must ponder this some more.

So what does all this mean?!?!? Besides the fact that I am NOT suffering from M.S. and I probably need medication for the debate that is starting to occur in my head. (I am NOT a sufferer....yes you are.....well.....no, maybe a little....Noooooooooooo definitely NOT)

Oh sorry.....*ahem*

It means.......I can mark 2006 as one of my worst years (if not the worst) ever!!! AND I still have 2.5 months left to go till we reach 2007.

Happy Happy joy joy...should I jinx myself and proclaim out loud what else could possibly happen?!?!

shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.............I dare not..........................

oh crap....................................dum dum dum dum dummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

*sigh*

Useless Facts

2006-10-15T15:06:00.000-07:00

By the way the longest word you'll find in a dictionary is:

pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoniosis.

That is a lung disease caused by swallowing

Here is the longest most used word:

Antidisestablishmentarianism (a movement opposed to the separation of church and state)

Longest word in English Usage

Life's pothole

2006-09-10T12:58:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I hate being a strong woman.

I wish I didn't have to remain emotionally strong for my family or friends.

I wish I didn't have the ability to do every chore that my husband can do.
(But I am extremely thankful that my father taught me how to do "man" things)

I wish I didn't have to shoulder the health of my offspring by myself right now.

I wish everything would go back to normal.

I hate being strong.

I ought to be a freakin' Genius!!

2006-08-25T21:28:00.000-07:00

I found this article tonight and I must say I have to agree with it!!!

TallPeopleRock

Walk Tall Men.......Walk Tall.........

2006-08-19T19:22:00.000-07:00

I was purusing Evilbay this evening and ran accross something that struck me as funny. Before I show it to you, I want to know something from you guys.

WHY OH WHY does everything have to revolve around SIZE?!?!?

The size of your hands - Wow...it sure is impressive how you can palm that bowling ball.
The size of your feet - Dude, that size 15 does not necessarily correlate to whats hiding in the pants.
The size of you weenus - Do I EVEN have to go there? Do I?!?!
And your heights - I love how guys always round up an inch.......ahem or even two when they state how tall they are.

Whyis it?!?!? Why do you feel like its a constant competition to be that 1" bigger in all the above categories?!?!?! WHO CARES. I just don't get it. SOMEONE PLEASE explain it to me. And I don't want to hear this alpha male bigger, better, gets the women. There should have been SOME kind of evolution in the last hundred years or so. PUHLESE

OK....back to what I saw.....here is the listing: TALLSHOES

Did you see it......are men actually BUYING these?!?! I about bust a gut when I saw them.
Now I realize some of you may think these ROCK. But let me try to explain why these are so funny to me. I am a tall woman. No, I am not 5'11" tall......I am like 6'4" tall. And I can't TELL you how many times I have walked into a room and immediately see all the men inside stare and straighten themselves up. Its like an automatic string being pulled on their spine. No, its like boot camp and all the enlisteds standing at attention when the Commanding officer walks by. Its quite the amazing spectacle. Truly it is. No more slouched shoulders, no more casual standing....its the let me stand at full height and even up on my toes just a tad. WHY....WHY!?!?
I realize I will never know why (although I think I do) but stop. Don't do that....and don't try to walk slowly by trying to see who is the taller of the two. DON'T!!!

Back to the shoes....did you see the logo that also went with them?!?! Now you can be Taller than her! That is what struck me as the funny part. Taller than her. Now I know several tall women....and a couple do date guys who are shorter etc. But they don't care. And I think most women DON'T CARE. What happens when you get home with that taller girl and you take off the shoes?!?! ROFL...that reminds me of that Seinfeld episode where George wore those timberlines. bwhahahaha....good episode - but I digress. ahem. Its FALSE ADVERTISING!!!! False advertising I say!!! Let me put this in terms that you may understand. Its like an ultra padded bra or falsies. No matter how much you like the person...its a tad disappointing when you see the true goods. Yeah, the boobies are there....but how fun are they really when you were expecting a full C and end up with a full A. Think about it.

MENS Shoes that are actually purposefully advertised for their lift. Bad Idea.....BAD idea. I don't care how short you are. Just don't do it!!!

**oh and I apologize to all of those vertically challenged men who may be reading this. I hope that you benefit from it and that you enjoy your new 2.75". Rock on and snag you a tall woman!

I have come off the mountain!!!

2006-07-29T10:10:00.000-07:00

Every July I go and spend 3 weeks in my homestate of New Mexico. We spend time in Las Cruces, (southern part) and then camp for a week up in Pecos (a bit NE of Santa Fe in the mountains). I left at the beginning of the month and have just returned yesterday. Many tales have got to be told!!!! Oh yes!!! LOLOLOL

I even have an awesome camping breakfast idea!!!! (I hope ~A~ doesn't know this one yet!!!)

I will get going because I know I have left my blog blank for far too long!!!!

A little funny

2006-06-28T10:45:00.000-07:00

I took the kids swimming yesterday and we were out for a good 4 hours. At the end of the afternoon, being thoroughly sunkissed and zapped of all energy, we came inside, ate, and started vegging on the couch watching a movie. So I am watching the clock and notice at 7:30 nodding heads, so I stand up and proclaim, "BEDTIME!" The older ones start to grumble and stir but J-elf just lays sprawled out on the couch.

"I'm too tired mommy"
" I know baby girl....Lets get up and go to bed"
"But I toooooo tiiiiiiiiired - you carry me mommmmeeeeeeeeee"
"No....you big gurl.....you can walk up the stairs"

She starts to grumble and cry as I herd the other 3 towards the foot of the stairs.

"mommmeeeeeeeeee I tooo tiiiiiiiiiired..........YOU carry me"
"Baby....you can walk...now lets go!!"
"Mommeeeeeeeeee if you carry me.....I give you threeeeeeee dollars" (visual: she barely can hold her 3 fingers up because she is so weak from swimming)
I was like WTH?!?! And I said "Three Dollars?!?!?!" To which she so feebly replied back.
"Ok...then Mommeeee, I give you one dollar.....carry me plllleeeeeeeaaaaaaseeeeee."

What do you say to that but, of course baby....but you better pay up when we get upstairs. She said ok. Once we get up there...she checks her piggy bank, and only has some change. So she asked me:

"Mommy.....can I borrow some dollars?!?!?!"

Of course dear....of course!!!!

For Wolfmeis

2006-06-23T15:15:00.000-07:00

(leave your name and...)
1. I'll respond with something random about you
2. I'll challenge you to try something
3. I'll pick a colour that I associate with you
4. I'll tell you something I like about you
5. I'll tell you my first/clearest memory of you
6. I'll tell you what animal you remind me of
7. I'll ask you something I've always wanted to ask you
8. if i do this for you you must post it in your journal

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

1. You are one of the hardest and funniest persons to have ANY sort of convo with.

2. I challenge you to designate a few hours (or maybe one or two) for yourself per week!! Just to do ^L^ stuff. Sans kids. You need to remember that not only are you mommy and wife...but you are ^L^.

3. Red. Becacause you are firey and passionate....

4. I LOVE how you always know what to say, how to say it, when to say it. Your advice always floors me...because you give it so eloquently.

5. It was during chat time for our old EC. I was sure you were convinced I was stalking you.

6. Humingbird. Becasue they flit and flirt everywhich way.

7. Is P-Daddy really THAT much of a monk?!?!??!?! That totally blows my mind!!

8. Done!

I'm in for a day

2006-06-20T10:55:00.000-07:00

I was laying in bed cuddling with my 4 year old this morning (yes, she still sleeps with me) when all of a sudden she looks at me and starts to sing (to the shave and a haircut tune):

"Poop in the barnyard........peeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwww"
"Somebody ate it..........thats youuuuuuuuuuuuuuu"

I think its going to be one of those days!!

*sigh*

I get to laugh at ~A~

2006-06-17T18:37:00.000-07:00

I was talking to ~A~ tonight and her kids were...........ahhhhhhhhhhhh how do you say it....... being VERY active. Not that mine aren't ever active in that way.......but I have to relish in the fact that mine, at the time, were no where to be seen or heard. (insert nanny nanny boo boo voice here) Well ~A~'s littles were causing some sort of mass destruction with pencil shavings. (or something of equally great messiness) And ~A~ was attempting to clean it up and uttered in her most "I can't believe you children came from my loins voice":

"Can someone bring me a broom like a normal human being?!?!?!?"

Now just her utterance of this made me start to giggle. Because how do you carry a broom like a normal human?!?! Why was this skill not practiced in her house...and is it a skill that NEEDS to be practiced. And why wasn't she happy with the way her kids were bringing her the broom!! I guess pushing the broom, by the bristles, out of the broom closet with their feet just wasn't good enough for her!!! Creative thinking!! COME ON think outside the box woman!!!! I would have just been excited that a broom was making its way towards ME!!! They were doing what the woman had requested. The broom was not still sitting in the closet....it was TRAVELING, en route, although probably at the pace of the space shuttle towards its launch pad...but it was a coming! Oh, it gets better, because the whole kicker to this is the sweet, innocent, bewildered, I am not sure if this is right, voice that came from her adorable muffin man when he so angelicly said:

"Like that?!??????"

Ohhhhhh the laughter that ensued on my part at the utterance of those sweet words! Where were the accolades......where was the praise!?! The razzing must being!! Why was ~A~ not raising normal children?!?!? How did they not know how to carry brooms!! Bravo child!! Bravo!! I then had to ask ~A~ is she, herself, even knew what a normal human being was and if she didn't how did she expect her children to?!?! BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH.........oh so funny. Did I mention the fact that MY children had been quiet and occupied the entire time?!?!? Oh no.......well they were. (again...nanny nanny boo boo)

After must guffawing etc. at my dear friend she herself starts to giggle hysterically. Because at the end of it all.....her oldest (and hence most wisest) heaves a heavy sigh and proclaimed

"Its hard having kids."

So true dear Button......so true!!

Do you two have to do THAT?!?!

2006-06-16T17:38:00.000-07:00

My soulmate/husband/lovah is HOT. Oh yeah..........H. O. T. Hot. He is so hot I have a hard time keeping my hands off of him. 12 years we have been together and I still like looking, touching, smelling, - I will stop there....because I think you can get the picture.

So our children are coming into the ages where they notice every little touch/grab/kiss/look. They see it, their eyes get big and they start the giggling and the whipsering to each other....did you see where daddy put his hand....snigger, snicker, snigger, OH NO...they just kissed..ewwwwwwww. Did you pinch daddy's BOTTOM.....ack gag gross!!! I never thought it would be such big news to them since we have always been this way. I just thought they would see it, go "Oh they are doing that again", and ignore it. But lately, they HAVEN'T been. Every little touch, whisper, kiss has been reported throughout the house.

"GUESS WHAT THEY ARE DOING NOW YOU GUYS"
"R-boy - Daddy just kissed mommy"
"Girly-girl H - Did daddy touch your boobies?!?!?"
"E-girl - Mom looked at daddy with those silly eyes"
"J-elf - ewwwwwwwwww no more kissies"

My lovah thinks its hysterical and has turned the groping into a game. He tries to get grabs, kisses, feelies etc without the kids noticing and is quite masterful at it. He is usually at his most competitive in the middle of Target. Which is usually a little embarrassing because, yes, your 8 year old didn't see it, but that 55 year old lady over there did. *ahem*

So we were sitting on the couch snuggling, watching tv with our love children when our oldest turns to us and says.

"Why do you two have to do that?"
"Do what?" My lovah and I proclaim?
"Do THAT"
"You mean breathing?!?" I reply, "because its a pre-programmed response from our brain...Why?" <--insert giggles from myself and lovah.
"YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN MOM....THAT"
"You two are always acting like you are in LOVE" pipped #2 Girly-Girl H.
"Well because we arrrrrrrrrrrrrre in love" My lovah quippes
"Well, its kinda gross you two...you need to stop" R-boy states matter of factly.
"Yeah and we are tired of seeing you two french kiss" * E-girl says.
"E-girl, we are not french kissing. Just watch your movie"
"We can't...because you are doing THAT."

I will spare you the circle conversation that followed for the next 15 minutes (man we love tormenting them) We finally told our children when mommy and daddy do "THAT" it means we still love each other. And they should be happy we do love each other because it wouldn't be a fun life if mommy and daddy didn't like each other. This is when the light bulb flicks on. (I alway love seeing the dawn of realization sweep across their faces) It was my son who said it first.

"If you didn't do THAT then you two probably wouldn't be married, would you.? Or if you were...you would be fighting."

"Exactly"

"Well....I guess its ok then."

"As long as its not french kissing!!!"

Deal.

*Disclaimer. We do not french kiss in front of our children. E-Girl thinks all kissing is french kissing for some reason, no matter how many times we try to tell her otherwise.

Pink Slip

2006-06-14T14:46:00.000-07:00

I was laying in bed this morning covered in vomit from my 4 year old and listening to my older 3 fighting over which cartoon to put on when it hit me. I don't want to be an adult anymore. I quit. Handing in my resignation today.....Somebody PLEASE give me a pink slip. Tell me I was somehow caught in a space time continuum and was whisked, by accident, 20 years ahead in time.

Anyone?!?!? Hellooooooooooooooo.........Let me close my eyes tap my heals together 3 times and say....there is no place like my youth........there is no place like my youth. *sigh* nothing has changed. I still have 3 loads of laundry waiting for me. I still have dirty dishes. I still have kids fighting. I still have vomit on my wifebeater.

Ok.....so that didn't work......and even if I COULD go back into my youth. Would I really want to? No, not really. I like being older, wiser, more comfortable in my skin. I don't NEED my youth. What I DO need though is to be independently wealthy. Yeah, now THATS the ticket. I need a maid and a cook. I need someone to do all the gritty stuff while I just play around with my kids. Yep, I need someone to draw my bath while they strip the beds and shoo the kids down to breakfast. Someone to take the kids clean them up, dress them, and have them waiting for me so we can go out and have some fun. Yeah baby.......thats what I need. Hmmm so the brainstorming must begin. How to accomplish that......lets see........lets see......

*cough* *cough*lurch*gag*barf*spew*

Guess I will work on that tomorrow.

ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

The Lone Boob

2006-06-13T19:21:00.000-07:00

My 4 year old has one of the quirkest little personalities EVAH!! I mean she has done some things that you will not believe. Therefore, I have decided to start to blog about my final and most impish child.

I decided that I needed to take my 4 littles and 4 other kids swimming today. I know that you are probably thinking that I should report on that adventure......but let me tell you this. 1. I am not crazy, 2. Yes, I am a superwoman and 3. My extreme OCD and head counting makes me one of the best lifeguards around.

Ok....so I was getting the kiddos dressed and I pull out this new swimsuit for my baby. Its a super cute little pink bikini from Gymboree (one of my most fav stores). Anyways, she puts it on and thinks she is a ballerina because of the fringe on the bottom. So she is twirling and dancing up a storm. I am so beautiful mommy, thank you mommy, I LOVE THE SWIMSOUP MOMMY!! I am happy, she is happy, all is right with the world. I begin to lather all the kiddos up with sunscream when #4 comes in with a HUGE pout on her face.

"Whats wrong doll baby?!"
"I don't like this soup!! I don't want to wear it!!!" <-- insert whining and almost crying here.
"I thought you LOVED it....whats wrong?!"
"Mommy..........it SHOWS MY BOOB!!"

OK......I almost lost it here. I held it together because I didn't want to scar my daughter with laughter at her boob. I can scar her with other things down the road.

"Baby, you don't have a boob. You have baby BOOOOOBIES. Boobies - not a boob. So you are fine wearing it. You can't see a thing!!"

Then she looked at me with the most indignent face she could muster she proclaimed.

"I HAVE A BOOB AND ITS SHOWING!!!"

*sigh* So what did I do? Did I pacify the girl and let her change out of her new swimsoup. HECK NO. I did what every hollywood fashion designer does. I got some scotch tape, rolled it up and did the ole double stick to the suit/skin trick. She was happy and the boob was covered.

Did the tape last through swimming. I don't even think it lasted into the car. But in her mind the boob was conatined. Whew, at least my girl has some sense of modesty - well for now anyways!!!

Shhhhhhhhh I have a secret

2006-05-03T05:18:00.000-07:00

Everyday at 11 am my littles proclaim their immense hunger.

"We are soooooooo hungry we are going to diiiiieeeee."
"I guess that means I must feed you again?"
"YYYYEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS and hurrrrryyyyyy we are starving to deeeeaaatttthh"

So I go through my fridge and pantry trying to mix up what I put into these walking pits of hunger. But today was a tough day. I haven't been grocery shopping in a week and a half so the pickins were SLIM. Think like, no milk or bread slim. You may be thinking thats not too bad. But you are an adult. A nice salad, bowl or rice, various fruits or veggies would definitely please your palate. But we are talking about a 4, 6, 7 and almost 9 year old who only eat foods that are 2 chemical steps away from powering industrial machines. So what can I feed them!?!?

I started to rummage and decided on these choices: salad (lol, at least I tried and that one was shot down IMMEDIATELY), scrambled eggs, soup, chicken nuggest or hot dogs.

"HOT DOGS!! You are actually going to let us eat HOT DOGS!!!!"
"yeah...but no buns and only 1 each!"

Hot dogs are never on my short list of things to make for lunch. I just try not to give them hot dogs more than once a month. So when they heard hot dogs they were STOKED!!! COOL....they are actually excited about lunch!! Hip hip horray!!! So final decision was hot dogs, carrots and oranges. Not a bad lunch for the littles. I get them set up and decide that I may have to eat also. What to do for myself?? I definitely didn't want a cut up hot dog and ketchup for lunch so I go foraging in my pantry once more.

I was pushing some cans of tomato around and I found one of my guiltiest pleasures hidden deep inside my pantry. I pulled it out and actually felt my mouth start to super salivate. I knew right then and there what my lunch that day was going to be.

Its rather quite embarassing really. Shah, I don't even know if I should put it down here for all to see. Well, here it goes. I LOVE Pork~n~Beans. Oh, not just any brand....Van De Camps version of pork n beans. Those mushy, sweet, what the heck is that white thing in them pork n beans. I love them!!! I stared lovingly at that red can - my guiltiest little pleasure. Should I get some potato chips and sprinkle them with pork-n-beans and then drizzle with mustard? Or should I go the old fashioned route that I did while preggo with little #4? Just pop open the can and insert spoon? Hmmmmm what to do? I was feeling a bit nostalgic today and almost just popped the can. But I decided to go the pork-n-bean nacho route. Yummmmmm the bliss I was in this afternoon.

Now, my stomach lining hurts...........but I had me some good pork-n-beans. Shhhhhhhhhhh.....don't tell!!!

Its a messy messy life.

2006-05-02T10:32:00.000-07:00

I love watching family shows of the 50's, 60's and 70's. Leave It to Beaver, I Love Lucy, The Brady Bunch. Such a slow, simple, CLEAN life, wasn't it? I mean....watch any Brady Bunch and do you EVER see dishes piled in the sink? Toys scattered accross the den? Or heck...even in that overflowing washing machine episode.....did you see one piece of clothing sitting in that laundry room? They had 6 kids for crying out loud and never anything in disarray. Those shows gave me false hope of what my life and home were to be. Did I ever picture myself in a dress, heals, and pearls welcoming my husband home? AHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh................no.
BUT I did imagine my life to be cleaner.

Clean -- that is such a simple word. I like the way it rolls off my tongue.........

Cleeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnn.

My biggest fantasy is a house that is ahhhhh....how do you say it. Cleeeeeeeaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnn.

I get shivers just thinking about it. Not that I am saying we are slobs. I just mean -- well, how can I say this nicely about my home. Its cluttered in a very disorderly fashion. We do mop the floors once a week and vaccuum and do dishes and sweep and, and, and, and. But our home never looks like it belongs on tv. Heck, half the time my home isn't even PRESENTABLE to people I kinda know. I have told ~A~ on many a time that I hope none of my kids were in a serious accident that day because as soon as emergency services (911) came to my home, they would need to put a call into CPS (or child protective services for those of you non breeders) to have my children taken away because of unfit living conditions.

cllllllleeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnn

I should have had an inkling as to what my home was to look like from my childhood. My mom stayed at home with us...but I don't remember our house being messy. (thank goodness my mother doesn't read this because I am SURE she would have a few choice words to say about this) I don't recall my brother, sister and I being NEAT freaks....but I dont' recall us being slobs either. I just remember our house feeling comfortable and "lived in". (I know ~A~ is shuddering hearing those words....."lived in") Isn't that just a nice way to say....hey, your house is trashed and apparently you really don't care about it. But nonetheless, I THOUGHT we were clllleeeeeaaaaaaannnnnn.

Why wasn't I told about the messes that kids could potentially make? I knew they, themselves, were messy. For crying out loud......they drool, leak, spew all sorts of liquids their first couple of years. But why do they feel the NEED to CREATE messes?

MESSY

See...that word just sticks in your mouth like too thick peanut butter. Oh and did you know how much of a mess peanut butter can make?!?!? How it leaves horrific greasy stains on clothes, carpets and walls? It does. I speak from experience. A very long and MESSY experience.

I could go on and on about the messes that have occurred in my home. And I am sure several of the bigger messes in my life will make it here to these pages. But until then I can only sit here and think

cllllleeeeeaaaaaan.

whisper it with me........

cllllllleeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnn

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh........................yes

clllleeeeaaaaan

But we wanted to play in snow mom

2006-04-25T07:12:00.000-07:00

My children are deprived. Yes, MY children. Children of the 21st century who don't have to milk cows, fetch water, handwrite letters, work the garden, study by candlelight, or heck...even have to get up to change the TV channel. My chldren are deprived. And do you know how I came to this conclusion? Packaging Peanuts. Yes, those foamy, static-ey (ok not a real word...but a real word to a person who speaks with children all day), annoying, packing peanuts. Man how I hate packing peanuts. Whenever xmas hits I cringe when I get boxes at my door. I usually unpack the packages outside and immediately, without the children knowing, discard the boxes with those annoying fluffy squeaky items. Why? Because I live in Arizona. Now that may not make sense to you.........but in reality it does. Please bear with me.

I have 4 children. I know I am not the first nor will I be the last to have 4 children. But I have 4 - all born within 5 years. ~A~ and I did it right. Just be preggo like elephants and get all those suckers done with FAST. But the problem with that is.....when one gets a bright idea...you don't have an older, wiser, sibling saying...you know.....thats not a really good idea. You have....WOW, that might work and that would be awesome!!! They actually have BRAINSTORMING sessions on how to pull these wild ideas off. And mind you, these are 8 1/2, 7, 6, and 4 year old ideas trying to come to fruitition. So basically ANYTHING goes.

Hey, lets give ourselves mustaches with permanent markers.....OK!!! What about wrapping ourselves in aluminum foil!! COOL!! What about writing our names and the ALPHABET, oh oh oh and NUMBERS on every single wall of the house!! Brillant!!! (and yes, all of these things have happened - like I said....anything goes)

So back to my deprived little dears.

This past xmas I lost my mind. I actually accepted a HUGE box (like a large sized moving box) from the UPS man and brought it inside. Why I didn't do my unpack outside and dump the box routine is a mystery to me. I must have been hypnotized or high on the christmas season. Thats the only explanation for my momentary lapse in sanity. For the event that is to happen was not the first time something like this had taken place in my house. You would think I would have known better. But I didn't and what was to occur was the largest and grandest by far.

So I accept this massive box into a clean house that I had worked my butt off (like a week) to achieve. I had even vaccumed that morning. Which, let me tell you, is a feat in itself. It was a beautiful blank slate that was DYING to be transformed.

Into what, praytell?

A winterwonderland of course.

Because you see, we live in Arizona, and guess what doesn't happen here during Christmas time?

Can you see where this is going?

Of course you can.

But let me try to impress apon, or upon which ever floats your boat, the magnitude of this disaster. It was a very big box. (way bigger than what was necessary for the 4 little presents inside - if I must say so myself) And I had very curious children who were DYING for the chance to sneak a peek at presents. So they opened the box (who knows where I was for crying out loud) and instead of seeing easily accessible presents, they were greeted by the fluffy, beautiful, alluring packaging peanuts.

I imagine it was like opening a buried treasure chest. They flapped open the box, music started playing, and their faces were lit with the bounty hidden inside.

Oh what to do with these curious little pieces of foam? I can only imagine the looks of deep concentration on my little lovies cherubesque faces. Then the dawning of the greatest idea they have ever had in their very young lives.

SNOW

Why, lets make it snow.....YES SNOW. We have been asking mom for snow all winter. Stoopid Arizona where it doesn't even get cold enough to snow. Hey, we can actually make it ourselves. LOOK!! Grab a handful and throw it. Ok - hey...that looks pretty cool. But it looks too big. Lets grab every single one and mash it, YES, YES MASH THEM!!! Into 20 smaller peices.......YES YES YES...that makes them multiply. It gives us more SNOW!! Why not....its fun. Its SNOWING!!! Lets throw them in the air.....WHOA...IT ACTUALLY LOOKS LIKE ITS SNOWING WHEN WE DO THAT! Do that some more.... YES!! YES!! YES!!! Wait, we only have half the room covered. We need to break these suckers up some more. OHHHH now we are cooking!!! Snow, snow, snow, snow. WE LOVE SNOW!!!!

How did I stumble onto such a scene you ask? Well, I really can't tell you. I have read that when a very traumatic event happens in your life you can forget it or black it out. I must have done that because all I remember was the singing of christmas carols and thinking, HOW SWEET, let me go peek at my lovies singing. After that, everything is a blur. I was told, by my oldest, that I was VERY VERY VERY VERY angry and that my eyes rolled into the back of my head. I have flashes of the scene, of course. Micro-sized peanuts EVERYWHERE......covering the ENTIRE floor of my 37 x 15 living/dining room combo turned into massive sized playroom for the deprived children. Oh, did you know when you pulverize packaging peanuts they create this super static? They do. They were stuck to the walls and my ceiling fans. YES CEILING FANS....which is a feat in itself considering we have 10 ft ceilings in my house. I can't even FATHOM that. And they travel and stick onto every single surface/crevice/toy/corner/drawer/cabinet/couch/cushion/etc, etc etc available? Oh yes, I even found them in their ears and other nooks and crannies at bathtime. They go eeevvvveeerrryyywwwhheerrreeeeeeeeee.

Oh and they are vitrually unvaccumable. You can NOT get those suckers up. You have to HAND pick them up. Yes, HAND. Which, for children of the 21st century, is the most unimaginable punishement possible. And during the cleaning up of the snow....with their bags and "bleeding fingers" (I guess I was working them to the bone) they all were proclaiming. "BUT WE WANTED TO PLAY IN SNOW MOM. We NEVER get to see snow."

So you see, my children are deprived. These poor children who have never seen snow, who tried to make it themselves, who only cleaned about half the mess before they were all too weak to move, are deprived. Can I tell you, that it took me 3 months to be rid of every piece of "snow" in my home. Oh yes. THREE MONTHS.

So you see, the peanuts gave me the revelation of the depravity of my children. So feel sorry for them. Feel sorry. For you know I do! *BAH!!!*